as we were sitting in our car last night waiting on our post-baseball game ice cream from sonic, james & i were talking about how annoying facebook has become. he then tells me that he has hidden all the crazy people (which, sadly, is more than 1/2 of them). an unconcerned brody instructed me to cover my ears and for james to whisper in his ear where he hid all the people. instead of explaining to brody something that he would never understand at this young age, he opted to tell him that he hid all the people in a cave in the mountains. (what??) now i am a little concerned that brody thought this was awesome...as if it is normal for his step-dad to hide people in mountain caves. but instead of worrying about my criminal family, i am instead loving that brody protected my innocent ears from their crimes.
this was our 2nd week of baseball and not only does our lil guy love it but he's awesome. "this is my most favorite thing mom, my most favorite'ist in the world". watching you whack that ball is my most favorite thing in the world too, little buddy.
i should probably update you that we are having an itty bitty baby girl. brody prayed really hard for a sister that is 1/2 raccoon and 1/2 alien baby with three eyeballs...the sonogram lady, however, confirmed that she is indeed human. this was a relief to me as i was imagining that delivering a raccoon/alien baby might be more difficult than a human baby.
so a little girl was a shock to me. i am very nervous to be a momma to a girl because let's face it, you can really mess that up. while being confident, strong, smart, passionate, athletic and funny come very naturally to my boy...i anticipate having to teach these things to my little girl. how do you teach a little girl to have dignity? to have self worth? to really know who SHE is without the need for someone else to fulfill that for her? the value of an education? the importance of her independence? that although there is no doubt she will be beautiful that her intelligence is more powerful? at the age of 5, brody already knows these things...but will my girl? i hate the color pink. it's true. but that isn't why i didn't want a girl. the truth is i am scared that i won't know how to teach her these things.
this story was on the news last week. afterwards, i saw a post on facebook from a girl that lives in kc in complete shock that this would happen in her city. um, really? this happens every single day in our city. at operation breakthrough alone, they serve over 500 kids that live below poverty guidelines. 25% of these kids are homeless. 25% of them are in foster care. the other 50% are being raised by single moms that cannot escape the poverty they were born into. many of these kids come to school hungry and in filthy clothes. some of them have visible marks of abuse and almost all of them have invisible marks of abuse. the waiting list has hundreds more kids on it, kids that will never get in and will instead continue the cycle of poverty and abuse. furthermore, did you know that "your perfect city" is one of the top cities in this country for child sex-slave trafficking? right here. in your city. still shocked?
step out of your happy bubble. God put you in this world to experience it, to help those that cannot help themselves, to open your eyes, to build your character. the world is not about being comfortable. spending hours and hours in the same church listening to the same message from the same pastors. it's about getting uncomfortable. stretching. changing. growing.
...bc while you were enjoying your comforts, a helpless 10 year old girl was locked in a closet in your city.
and i am happy to help you get uncomfortable, you can go...here, here, or here...or check with your church to see where they donate their time and money. and if they don't...um, you might question that.
so as i was saying earlier, facebook is driving me insane. like james, i have chosen to hide many people...the legal way, not in the mountain caves. as i stumble my way into Christianity with the help from my husband, my friends jodi & kim, our new church and my 5 year old Jesus lovin' boy...i am also finding that i have to protect my heart. i read things all the time that disagree with my own common sense and they were starting to make me question if Christianity is really a good fit for me. and while everyone has a reason why they post their religious beliefs and/or judgment out in the open for the world to see - for the unchurched, like myself, it makes us stumble back. so this is weighing heavy on my heart right now and my sweet husband is helping me work through it.
