mom boy stuffed dad

brody started kindergarten this year.

something happened on the day he started kindergarten. like the school nurse lined them up and said "come here, kindergartners, take your kindergarten pill. you will be a completely different child by 3pm today" 

some of the symptoms have been -- do not let your mom know that you love her, do not let your mom kiss you, do not sit on your mom's lap anymore unless you are alone, do not tell your mom to hold you tighter unless you are in a dark room and no one can hear you, do not let your mom's hair get anywhere near your food, your plate or even your skin, start taking showers instead of baths and insist on being alone but also insist that mom not actually leave the bathroom, ask for a snack 50 gazillion times a day, start telling jokes about butts and farts or rather just say the word butt or fart and then laugh hysterically, be super strong and not afraid of anything but only between the hours of 7am and 8pm, start running around the house naked screaming "naked boy!, naked boy!", and insist that every argument can be settled with a sword battle.

brody is my honest kid. not that i have any others to compare him to since poor sissy can't even talk. but he really is painfully honest. he asked for a popsicle the other day. many many many times. and every time he had a carefully thought out reason about why he needed a popsicle.

"mom, i really think i need a popsicle because i think i hit my head on the wall when i was running and it will make me feel better."

"mom, can i please go get a popsicle because i have to pee really bad but i don't want to go pee."

"mom, can i get a popsicle because the last one i had was red and i really wanted a purple one but i forgot."

"mom, can i get a popsicle because i was watching scooby doo and i got a little bit afraid and now i need a popsicle."

it's just painful to watch. i really wish someone would just teach the poor kid to lie. i mean, why doesn't he just sneak into the kitchen, quietly sneak out a popsicle and eat it under the dining room table where i can't see him? i thought he would learn these techniques by now. i think i am going to have to teach him.

brody's friend, jack, sends us home with notes everyday. they are delicately ripped and then folded into teeeeeeny tiny super secretive notes hidden in brody's coat pockets. his number must begin with "913" although the first few times, i thought he was inviting us over for pie. brody and jack must discuss the notes at school bc although i have no idea what they say, brody can always explain. so far he has been invited to jack's house to run from girls, to chase girls and most recently, to go swimming on christmas eve. most of the time, however, he simply sends his phone number which is really long and usually both upside down and backwards. i guess jack got tired of brody never showing up though bc a couple weeks ago, i got a note that simply said "brody mom call jack mom". yesterday, i finally got a real note from his real mom and they are finally getting to have their real play date so they can chase girls, run from girls and go swimming even though jack doesn't really have a pool and it's the middle of winter.

brody is such a loyal friend to his entire class. that's one of the things that i love most about him. it gets him in trouble though bc he spends a lot of time talking during class. this morning on the way to school, i reminded him to listen to his teacher and not to talk to his friends if she is talking.

“but Mom, i don’t just talk about lord of the rings...i live the principles of friendship. i don’t even know why I get in trouble for being a chatterbox about friendship.”

so next time he gets sent to the safe seat, i guess he is just living out his principles.